As printed in the Presidio Sentinel, San Diego, July 2010

I’m not sure whether it’s my parents’ depression-era heritage or a natural…um, thriftiness, but if there’s a discount coupon that applies, I don’t leave home without it.

That’s what brought us to a newish Chinese/Japanese cafe in Hillcrest, with a coupon for one free entree with one paid. Service: sweet and warm. Menu and cuisine: good to better. Bill: Whoops! How did the total seem not merely un-discounted, but more than twice what both entrees cost?

Glad you asked. When the waitress asked whether we wanted white or fried rice with each entree, we naturally assumed this accompanied the entrees. The rice, we were surprisingly informed, cost an additional few bucks each. And then there was the tax, which was applied to what the entire bill would have been without the one-free entree. GOTCHA!

A few weeks ago, more than 40 of us reserved a celebration lunch at a popular Mission Valley spot, expecting to be … expected. Yet management provided only one waitress for this crowd, and after an hour of not yet ordering, we two left.

We stopped nearby at a reliable Mexican chain, in which no more than three tables were occupied. The host desk was unattended and nobody showed up, until one harried young man straggled over to say someone would be with us shortly (but alas, not him!) Nothing doing. After another considerable wait, we left.

Just down the street, we next tried a respected Asian restaurant , which, we could see, had a half-full dining room. “Two of us,” we begged, gnawing by then on our knuckles. Sweetly, the hostess said the wait would only be twenty minutes. We left.

We drove around the corner to Denny’s, where, though it was busy enough, we were seated right away, served in short order (got that?) with warmth and efficiency, and had a pretty good lunch.

Now, I have been accused of being especially crabby about restaurant service, and it’s true that there are two eateries I’ll never return to – one, because the proprietor failed to acknowledge or greet me after I’d patronized his establishment every week for three-four years (patience is my sole virtue); another lost my regular business for handling a minor request in a rude and dismissive manner. Bye.

(Note that, except for Denny’s, I haven’t named names. But I will identify them to Presidio Sentinel’s sales staff, who should immediately sell them reputation-saving advertising.)

Having handled publicity, event production and public relations for numerous restaurants over the years, I’ve come to various conclusions about this industry – which right now is experiencing some tough times (and, therefore, a good time to a) issue coupons and b) mind their service.

Lesson #l in restaurants : everything counts. I mean, everything, from the obvious need to prevent this column’s experiences from happening, to whether the waitperson says “you still workin’ on that?” instead of “may I take your plate,?” to the condition of the bathroom, to exquisite personnel training for handling problems that arise. Cuisine and presentation are just the start.

My next-best lesson is that I’ll never own a restaurant. This is an industry at the mercy of “charisma.” Hard to quantify, hard to qualify. An expert and conscientious restauranteur can do everything right – and it can still go wrong, and a customer can be lost. Too much salt, (too little salt), yesterday’s flowers, one, just one tough cut of beef, a waiter’s even brief, disdainful glance, any and all misrepresentations or misleading expectations.

I’m certain I’m not alone in my lack of forgiveness; for better or worse, there are just too many restaurants (competition) to welcome me, and, given that things go well, to whom I will always remain loyal. Until, that is, the first “GOTCHA!”

We are Obama fans, so when we heard that Shepard Fairey, famous for the Obama and Obey art chose our office building in South Park for a mural installation as a part of the Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego exhibit, Viva la Revolucion, a multifaceted, international exhibition featuring works both in the Museum’s galleries as well as at public sites throughout San Diego, we were excited!

James Brown of Public Architecture who designed and owns our building had submitted it for consideration for one of the site installations.  Fairey and his crew started on a Wednesday and completed it on Friday.  (Ok, and shall we also tell you that one of his crew was Spencer Elden, famous for being the Nirvana baby, pictured on the famous Nevermind album cover.)

The crowd that gathered to watch and catch a glimpse of Shepard was a little overwhelming and distracting to staff (oh well). The first day the young girl with the blue fair followed the crew’s every step from morning to night.  We had fun seeing some of our favorite journalists as they came by to see the progress and didn’t realize our office was there, including Robert Pincus, Nina Garin, Dave Maass, Seth Combs and David Rolland.

Since the art lovers were so accessible, we took the opportunity to put postcards out about client, Lux Art Institute’s latest artist Sati Zech.

Ok, you can see more on our Facebook page; on to the work:

Jean gets adjustment from James

Rob dons the best eye protection in the world - Aqua Sphere goggles (client, yes, but they are great goggles)

It’s moving day at J.Walcher Communications as we get the boot (building’s been sublet) from our grand office on El Cajon Blvd. and make the trek down 30th to our new home in South Park. We’re all rather sad, and we will miss our shared and collaborative office space with Farm Advertising … who moves into the Banker’s Hill/Hillcrest area. Here’s some highlights of our move: Jean gets some pain help from Jacquie’s BF, James, a physical therapy student, and Robert dons a pair of Aqua Sphere goggles to protect his eyes from the shards of dirt and wire that just penetrated his eyeball while packing. Doctor visit to remove only took an hour. See ya on the other end!

Twas the day of our party, I had to wake early

In order to prep – you know, and do all things girlie.

Though our party was not ‘til much later at night,

My schedule that morning was rather quite tight.

I was ahead of the clock as I got in my car

On my way to our segment, for our client Bazaar [del Mundo].

I left early to meet with our spokesperson there,

But on the way to the station, had quite a scare.

The traffic was busy for the morning rush,

And suddenly I heard my car going crush!

I pulled to the side of the road in despair,

And rang up the station – I wouldn’t be there.

My morning was rougher than most mornings go,

But luckily there was no need for a tow.

 With work to be done at the JWalcher that day,

I called up my colleague to take me away.

Robert came to my rescue and took me to work,

A distraction that kept me from going beserk.

More rapid than traffic, the hours they passed,

Until it was time for our party at last!

“Now Sandy! Now, Nick! Now, Kevin and Brad!

Come, Debi! Come, Jason! Come Sarah and Jean!

To the top of the stairs! To FARM’s warehouse in back!

Turn off the computers! Turn off all your Macs!”

As day became night and our guests began to arrive,

They were greeted with drink, food and a band that played live.

Upstairs the FARM-house was all decked out in lights,

And the Caterings by Ina stirred appetites.

Roger Showley appeared in a Santa Claus tie,

You can tell off the bat he’s one festive guy!

Then Angela Titus from the United Way,

We were welcome to have her at this evening’s soriee.

Conversations abound as I moved through the room

Increasing in laughter and overall volume.

Each person there stood with a drink in their hand,

Including CityBeat mag’s David Rolland.

In the corner Matt Gordon and Brian Maienschein,

They exchanged gleeful stories beside trees of pine.

And seated together, there seemed a rapport,

Between Indra Gardiner and Sydnie and Doug Moore.

Then in came a couple who’s pleasantly vocal,

‘Twas Marc and Darlynne of “Travel Like a Local”.

I saw Debbie LaChusa who once worked with Jean,

the reunion between them – a sight to be seen.

The musicians playing had people in awe,

Particularly David and Ms. Reesey Shaw.

Also impressed by these three virtuosa,

Were Kelly Davis and her guest Brian Espinosa.

As the party went on and the merriment flowed

Tom Gable left early, but his thanks, he bestowed.

Steve and Jacqueline Silverman, I instantly liked,

She spelled her name like mine so I was totally psyched!

The hours flew by as we had so much fun,

I was sad that the evening would soon be over and done.

But once we’d drank all the wine and ate all the food,

It looked like it was time for our party to conclude.

As our guests shuffled out and said their adieu’s,

It was clear to be said that one thing was true –

In the infamous words of Michelle Mowad,

Who said “See ya later! This party was rad!”